My First Appraisal

For any salaried employee, especially of an IT firm, the completion of the first appraisal is one of the most important career landmarks. There are some events that trigger reactions bigger than the event itself. This was one of those, very special, yet tense..!

Speculation was rife that the appraisal process would reach its logical conclusion today. The annual ritual of distribution of increment letters was going to be held today. The day was brimming with possibility. The rumour mongers had a fabulous day-out,- a day to fill their hearts to content. Every now and then their where some numbers out in the air regarding the hike percentage. Hope bloomed in a thousand hearts. And with it, the dreams of a better tomorrow.

Nevertheless, the tension in the air was obvious. Groups of otherwise serious-looking men and women gathered around corners, holding on to their coffee mugs, chatting animatedly, while some preferred to maintain a grim face. People seemed lost in serious thoughts.

Never before had I seen the pantry and corridors so occupied at 11AM. This was usually the time people buried themselves in their world of endless emails and conf-calls. Groups of people, looking back at the events of the year gone by, some regretting a few wrongs, hoping they'd be "glossed" over this time. Others, peacefully content at the work they'd put in so far, self-assured that their efforts would be rewarded. An office that was usually a picture of mind-numbing calm had amazingly transformed itself to a place buzzing with chatter.

For anyone who remembers his/her das at college, it was one of those-

"Aaj-3-baje-result-lagne-waala-hai" type day.

There were some of them like me, going through this process for the first time, wondering what the brouhaha was all about.

"Software companies to pay out greater hikes than ever before"

"The war for talent drives IT firms to desperation"

I was almost convinced that this was a nice time to be in IT, looking rather amused at the drama unfolding around me... Some others among us took refuge to listening to the wisdom of the all-knowing seniors around us, reveling in their anecdotes about earlier appraisals.

Nevertheless, in all this chaos, the increment letters silently marched in. For what seemed an eternity, everyone waited for their managers to come to them, increment letter in hand.

The managers, marched up to the desk of their respective team members, congratulating him on the year gone by. Wishing him all the best for the year ahead before handing over the increment letter to the poor chap who had almost passed out in his 2 seconds of glory.

My heart was beating fast too. "Mera-number-kab-ayega" was the rythm behind it.

Moments later, the hitherto shared story acquired a hundred different hues. Perhaps the only sentiment that everyone shared was that of relief - relief that the wait was over. At some places the mood was triumphant. Elsewhere, people were collecting pieces of their shattered sanity, shaking their head in disbelief. If there was any defining moment of the day, this was it.

Finally, My manger came to me too, with a derisve smile in her face.

"Tera-kya- hoga- Kaalia" seemed an apt line for me at that moment. It was as if time had stopped to savor the nervous energy of the moment. The drama got over with a happy note. It was a moment of glory for me. My appriasal turned out to be better than what i had expected..!

Thankfully, there were no tears shed or loud hurrahs (atleast in public). The rest of the day stayed heavy with discussions of the events of the day. Canteen, paper-shredder, even the washroom - any place capable of facilitating social interaction was filled with questions like "Aisa kaise hogaya?" or "Party kabhi hai ?" depending upon the dominant expressions of the person being questioned.

The day ended with the dust settling after the storm (or windfall, depending upon how bad/good your increment was). For some, the journey to the next appraisal had already begun.

But for me, it was time to find a place to chill-out...!